100 million and 1

It's been a crappy day- I needed a bit of humor.

 Had awful cramps for an hour or so last night took a pg test last night as well as tonight bfn. Noticed some spotting as well, just a few bright red drops when wiping after taking the test. I don't feel like af is about to come and if she is it's almost a week and a half early. I've been drained ever since our Missouri trip this week- I have zero energy and just want to sleep. I feel depressed hoebatly and think that the fatigue is coming from that- holidays make me sad after loosing my mom dec 23rd 1997- today is the 3 year anniversary of my Oscars passing- Lollie isn't doing so well- Josh's back is bothering him and he is going for tests next week and I am coming up on finals week. 

Dreams

Odd dream last night- I put on a shirt and I looked very pregnant with a large pregnancy belly and all- and for some reason dh and I were at the store buying baby girl clothing- I remember him pulling outfits off the rack and saying that some were super cute and he wanted to get my opinion and I said something about well we need to get some boy clothing as well but he gave me a weird look and then I woke up. I usually don't have vivid dreams like that. Someone told me a long time ago that when you dream about being pregnant that you either are pregnant or will be pregnant very soon, I would love for either of these to be true. The fluttering in my stomach a few minutes ago made somehow reminded me of the dream- now I am cd 12 and according to my ff chart and my ovulation history should be ovulating in the next two days. Like I needed something more to make me obsessed with this stupid cycle. Speaking of it's time for me to poas and see where my lh is today. Dh's back is killing him, he has a drs appt on the 21st and I am worried that they will tell him no bd and activities that pose stress on his back and then we waist another cycle- one that at least came on with fertilaid without any rx medications. Cross your fingers for us please! I slept though my abnormal psych class this am so I need to kick it in gear, hopefully i will be able to focus for the two other classes that I have today. Hope everyone has a great day!

Fertil 30

I've decided to call this our fertil 30 challenge because dh and I have been on fertilaid for 30 days. Dh is having some health complications that we hope are not periment and may stop using the fertilaid; we have yet to decide

If the new issues are due to the neurontin I am giving him for his back or due to the fertilaid either way he cannot go on having this side effect because I worry it will become periment. 

Today is day 30 for me and it looks like af is about to check out for a while- I've had really sharp pains in my lower left abdomen which are new to me hopefully it's just me being hypervilligant at the moment and nothing more.

I'd love to take a pain pull tonight the sudden hot to cold shift is really messing with my fibro. I tried to do some stretching and yoga tonight in the living room but I wasn't able to push myself enough to so something as simple as the sunsitation so I decided not to push myself anymore. 

Quick update

Blogger is annoying me it keeps deleting my posts when I hit submit so I'll make this short and post more tomorrow.

Started fertilaid for me 3 weeks ago last Thursday and ended up getting af Thursday it's just wow... I'm amazed.

Started dh on fertilaid for men not the special one just the man formulated version. 

Current plan- take one day at a time...

Will post more soon .