Cd10

AM ovpt negative, will test this evening.
Headache finally gone and I'm feeling better :)

Afternoon update: killer cramps for about 2 minutes a bit ago. Almost period like, last night I had pains in my left upper side but since I felt like h*ll I brushed it off. Not sure if they are connected or not.

Cd9+ migraine

Worst.occular.migraine.ever...didn't opkt today have felt crappy since waking up but as the night progresses I'm feeling worse. Going to call it an early night and hopefully sleep off this crap and then opkt in the am and see my status

Dreaming of pain pills

Everything hurts, my back killed me this morning, my leg is having super bad pains and my foot is getting muscle spasms that are killing me. Although I seriously contemplated taking something from my pain pill arsenal I skipped I worrying that it would effecting my cycle somehow. I'm probably overreacting but I don't want to rock the boat per say.
My fibro is having a fiesta inside of me and I wish it would go and bother someone else for a while.
:/

Clomid cycle picture

Found this interesting

Cd4-5

Thursday night I felt as if I was on femara again or starting to hit menopause. Horrible hot flashes and I was so nauseous. I downed ginger ale and after a few hours sleep felt better Friday morning. It was rainy and cold so I slept most of the morning with the kiddos (their body warmth on days like Friday are like melatonin to me).
On my 4th day of pills (Friday evening) a few hours after taking them I became so hungry that I couldn't eat enough to make myself feel full. Crazy! It's Ben a few hours I've drank a huge thing of water and am feeling hungry still but know there is no way that I could be hungry with all I ate. Luckily there has been no sweating to death like there was the night before. Af is slowing down and completely stops a few hours after taking the clomid but comes back the next day again.
Two more days of clomid and I'm trying to not dwell on this process at the moment.
On a side note while I was out shopping for groceries earlier a friend of dhs stopped in and picked up their baby shower gifts that i hadn't given them yet. Their sons asked dh where our kids were (last time the boys came over it was Halloween and I always have something set up for the kids in the yard). Of course dh said we don't have children, I'm not sure what else was said in the conversation but he felt compelled to tell me that little bit. I said something to the fact that he should have told them I am defective which ended that conversation fast.
I have some errands to run Saturday that I keep forgetting about and a ton of cleaning as well. Plus I need to figure out where my cycle might be in a few weeks so I can figure out the ovk stuff.

Cd3

Af is finally slowing down a bit pain is going and overall I don't feel too awful.

Cd3 means is the first pills of my first clomid cycle.

A glass of milk and clomid decent way to end the night :)

Cd2

Thank god it's almost over for today! It's been the worst day that I can ever remember with af. I haven't taken any pain pills since starting provera even tho I talked about it to a friend a few days ago. I've had nothing but issues feeling lightheaded, extremely exhausted, not hungry, sick to my stomach its been a crazy day. I'm going to chalk it up to hormones since it has been so long. I would love more than anything in this world at this very moment to take an ibuprofen to help slow down af and the only ting keeping me hanging on is the worry that taking something would negatively effect my clomid which I start taking tomorrow (4/24)!!! Cannot wait I'm so excited and any nervousness has faded today. Right now I am just focusing on being positive about everything because being negative will get me nowhere I am tired but my mind is busy thinking so ill read my book a but jump on the forum and then call it a night.

4 minutes until cd3!

Eggs and Books

While browsing for some books for my lesson plan I happened to walk by the health section which has been redone with ends that feature books. As i walked by I happened to see one that caught my eye that had a baby siting in a huge cracked egg shell called A Few Good Eggs.
I've only been able to read a few chapters of it with such a busy schedule but I wanted to before af came (she's starting to move in today and will be here probably tomorrow) so I could see what the book was about.
This is a MUST read it makes me feel so much better and although I am not alone in this fertility roller coaster, because there are thousands of people registered on soulcysters the two that wrote this book have a plethora of knowledge and have asked friends about their struggles as well.
I read a bit about resolve in chapter 4 tonight and I'm going to look into it tomorrow and see what I find. Like the girls say in the book knowledge is power and right now it's one more thing I can have on my side.

Overall I'm feeling like crap tonight going to take 50mg of ihp clomid days 2-7 and see where it gets me. Worse case scenario I don't ovulate or I read the many dollar store ovulation lots wrong and mess up the time. In which case this would be a learning cycle and all is not lost. Best case scenario we score and get pg and have a happy healthy little one (hope its bot clonid multiples) feb of next year. Either way it its meant to happen this time it's meant to happen otherwise the universe has other things in mind for us until it is our turn.

I would die for that

Found this amazing song just now and wanted to share it, it pretty much sums it up for me

Provera

Ugh, today is my last dose of provera and I cannot say that I will be upset about it. I have been uber moody lately and have went off on my dh many times over the last week. I want to chalk that up to racing hormones because I am usually laid back and pleasant.
After today I get to wait for the inevitable horror when af comes to visit and then will *sigh* do a round of clomid. I am not sure if I am happy or sad about doing a round of it, but I do know that I am super scared/nervous since it will change our lives. Over the years I have gotten a little bit worse with change, it didn't use to bother me but nowadays it really takes some time for me to be copestetic with it.
Bottom line is I WANT A BABY, NOW!
Guess I will just wait and see, besides the worst thing that can happen is that it doesn't work and we are right back to where we are now.

Will you get toast crunch cearel from sams

Someday I

 I love this guy he never fails to make me laugh!

I dream of...

I have been trying to find the right time to talk to dh about doing a round of clomid. Things just never seem like a good time and I guess there might not be a good time no matter when. I have been trying to figure out what month I would be due if I was to become pg since I am in college and it looks like it would be possibly February of next year, which would mean I wouldn't be able to go for the spring semester and would also give me a few months to be home and get used to things before the summer semester, so I would be able to keep at a steady pace to get my degree.

My current decision is that I am going to start taking the 10 day prometrium challenge today and then will talk to dh about taking the clomid once af shows. Regardless if we don't use clomid this time I still have to trigger af due to lack of one for almost a year and a 8 lining as of my last untrasound.

My goal this next 4 weeks, even with finals around the corner is to try and loose at least 5 lbs. I figure that a little under a lb and a half a week is totally do able. I have done over 2lbs a week the last time I seriously set myself into workout motion. Sadly this semester, I haven't had to be on campus three days a week and walking to all my classes on opposite sides of the campus to get to my building so I have gained back most of the weight I had lost.

My good friend just had a beautiful baby girl last week and it feels like I am dying inside to be a mother. I wanted to hold her but I was worried that I would break down and want to never let go and I think it has sparked on nightly dreams about giving birth and being a mother since then, which were only happening once in a while previously.

So my current plan is working out and eating better, prometrium, clomid and then we will see where things go from there.